How To Quieten The Loud Voice Of Anxiety
April 25th, 2020
Anxiety can be overwhelming and debilitating; by its very nature it tends to be the loudest voice in the room of our minds.However, with a mindfulness practice, we can quieten anxiety and bring more calming voices to the fore.
The first step is to recognise the presence of anxiety and to consciously decide to try to feel differently rather than allowing the spiral further into anxiety. This can be hard and if it seems impossible right now, that’s ok, be loving to yourself - “managing my anxiety feels overwhelming to me right now but I’m going to try when I feel I can and when I can’t that’s ok, I’ll try again another time and perhaps it will become easier.” Relieve the pressure.
The next step is stop and breathe. Deep inhales and exhales, filling your whole torso and belly, has a relaxing effect on our physiology. Try sighing your exhales audibly out through your mouth, bringing the focus of you senses to the awareness of your breathing and away from your thoughts.
Take some time just with your breath and when you feel ready, ask yourself “these thoughts that I’m having that have made me feel anxious, are they true?” Your anxious mind might well cry out that yes they’re true, or it might concede that no it’s not. If your anxious mind is saying yes then ask “am I absolutely certain that they are true?” Absolutely certain? Our anxious thoughts are rarely based in absolute certainty, very few of any of our thoughts are rooted in certainty, there are just too many variables in life. If the thought is absolutely true perhaps your anxious reaction is exactly necessary, perhaps it’s time for a protective decision - your anxiety has a place, it’s trying to get you to react quickly to a perceived danger, it’s just that often the danger isn’t really there... so back to absolute certainty of the truth behind the anxious reaction, if you’re not absolutely certain then ask yourself “what other thoughts could be true?” For example if you’re anxious about how someone is communicating with you and your anxious thought is that they’re upset with you, the other truths could be that they’re in the middle of cooking dinner, or they’ve just received bad news of their own, or they’re anxious too and overwhelmed or or or... there’s almost always infinite possible truths to all situations and thoughts. Once you’ve got an abundance of possible truths to choose from, some serious, some silly, ask yourself “is my original thought the most likely to be true?” It rarely is. Breathe. Maybe make a note of what you originally felt because perhaps soon you’ll feel ready to work on the part of you that had this thought that made you feel bad. Be loving to yourself, anxiety is natural and has a place, you have an anxious voice, you also have a calm voice that can speak a little louder when it’s needed and help to soothe your anxious voice. In the words of Ram Dass “love your dark thoughts”.
There are other mindful techniques for dealing with anxiety and feelings of being overwhelmed. Reach out through any of our contact channels if you’d like to learn more and watch this space or join our newsletter for future articles.
A note on asking for help - if your anxious thought involved someone you have a relationship with of any kind, it’s ok to speak with them, choose to speak mindfully… once you have completed the steps above and if possible are now acting from a place of calm, it is ok to speak to the person, ask them “I’ve been having some anxious feelings, are you in an ok place to talk about them with me right now?” Asking this question enables you to respect their needs and boundaries, it’s a question of loving intent. If they are happy to talk, tell them how you felt and what you thought, explain that you realised there may have been other reasons and ask them if they could talk to you about it from their perspective. In healthy relationships this conversation shouldn’t be a problem or cause distress or drama. If you feel you couldn’t have this conversation or the experience would be too unpleasant then there may be something to work on here; perhaps it’s a personal response, perhaps there is trauma around the relationship. Again make some notes and begin to work through them either alone or with help when you feel able to. We are always here to assist in your healing.
Namaste.
